Spellchecklers™

Spellchecklers™ are people that diss my comedy for all the misspellings.

Okay.

Saturday.

Walmart.

Looking at Halloween stuff.

Poodle skirt costume. Pointing at it, my daughter says to my wife, "Wow, look, Mom! Just like y'all used to have in the 80s right?"

OUCH! Followed by much laughter, and realizing that we were as close to the 50s then as she is to the 80s.

Happy Daze!

Focaccia bread

Focaccia bread. Man, it is GOOD.

You usually eat it with drizzles of olive oil with crushed, tiny bits of garlic to infuse it with flavor. When eaten at an open air cafe in Italy just as the day starts to warm, say, around eleven forty, you can enjoy the smell of the rest of the day's bread baking, as well. Or you could buy one at Walmart. Whatever.

Random Thoughts and Dreams and Narcissism Burnout

I dreamt I was in a nursing home (or hopefully a huge one story hospital). I went outside for air, and it was cold and snowy. I got locked out and had to walk around to another entrance. There were Christmas decorations everywhere, and, bizarrely enough, Christmas presents in the snow like Easter eggs. I grabbed what I could carry, but all the doors I came to were locked. One door had nurses that saw me outside, but they were laughing too hard to let me in.

Figure THAT one out, kids.

...just our society descending into a never ending hall of mirrors...

I think I had narcissism burnout last night. It was 2:15am, the dog had yapped me awake. I realized that all the podcasts and blogs and facebooks and internets and twitters are just our society descending into a never ending hall of mirrors.
I was depressed.
I am sick of writing my own history.
But I can't stop.
I need Brain Calgon for my book writing!

Do you REALLY know Bill Murray?

Me neither.

Via: Online School

The Day It Got Weird

I finally got to take my little girl to her first concert. July 28, 2010, Amarillo, Texas, in the Globe News Center. Weird Al Yankovic brought his show to town again.

My wife and I had seen Weird Al a little over 10 years ago during the "Running with Scissors" Tour (March 2000). She was then pregnant with Madison. We took a pillow to muffle the sound from the unborn ears. Flash forward to yesterday, A.D., and the kid got to see Al and Company rock the Yellow City. We were 3rd row, center. Al came into the audience and grooved down the slightly-wider row behind us during "Wanna B Ur Lovr," practically leaning on her and Carmen's heads.

The show was amazing, and Al stayed after to sign some stuff and let us take pictures. It was an amazing time, his band is incredible, playing music from every genre, and he just could not have been nicer. He seemed genuinely taken aback when Carmen told him that the girl he just signed for was in utero during his last visit to Amarillo.

"You have really pretty handwriting."

I got hit on at a Taco Bell by a young man when I was with my new wife in 1998.

The counter guy was weirdly nervous as he took our order, brought our tray, and asked if we needed any Fire Sauce or Fiesta Sauce or whatever they were calling it that month.

"You have really pretty handwriting."

The kid took my check, and, blushing while looking at my... man area.... said, "You have really pretty handwriting." My wife has never let me forget, because, as anyone knows, I have horrible handwriting. It must be code or something...

http://store.mcsweeneys.net/index.cfm/fuseaction/catalog.detail/object_id/86dd6b4a-88b3-4615-8fc5-fcfcb22bfd1e/JaguarTshirt.cfm

The caption reads: "Man, you've got good-looking handwriting."

Mellon-Colic

My favorite things to blog about: procrastination. And that other one....